IN MEMORY OF FATHER KENNETH

By Nguyen Van Nam

In memory of Father Kenneth I would like to share with you my very last moment with him, but first with some back ground. 

It is a bit rather long story but it will perhaps explain why he was in coma for almost a week long. (I don't really know it scientifically though...it is just my gut feeling).

  

I attempted to share this with you a couple of times before but every time I started, I felt so sad and could not hold my tears and I stopped.  After 3 years I still cannot hold my tears as I am typing this email.

When I was an unaccompanied minor in Palawan I used to hear him encouraging/counseling someone who needed his advice (including myself) by saying "Don't give up." or "Never give up." After I left the refugees camp I lost contact with him for almost 25 years. I finally found him in Vietnam. 

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In his last two years in Vietnam, he taught English to many students from different walks of life. One day he asked me, "Nam, what made you successful in learning English and what made you successful in your career? I need to advise my students".  I replied, "I just took your advice 25 years ago. I never give up in any thing I do".  Since then, he kept telling his English students things like "Never give up practicing English" etc.
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In his last two years with me he often taught me a lot about Catholic's perception about life and death (I am not religious..just and ancestor worshiper but I have interest in religious philosophies so at times he and I debated a lot about life and death). I then asked him,  "So, are you afraid of death?". He replied, "I am not afraid of death.  It is God's call...when he calls you it is time to be with him... so just follow him".

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So in the first or second day he was in coma, I visited him in the hospital. I stood by his bed and told him something like this... "Father, you must not die yet. I know you still can live. Please do not give up.  You taught me and others not to give up.  It is now your turn to show me you don't give up". He then went on in coma for the next five days. Then that final night, I was sleeping at home and I recalled what he had told me earlier about death. 

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Early in the next morning brother Binh (who's was in the hospital with him for the whole time) called me to come to the hospital because his heartbeat was slowing down. I came to the hospital. First I walked in and out his intensive care unit several times. I stood in and out by his bed several times but I did not say any thing. I then run back and forth to see the doctor to get updates of his condition etc.  Finally, I came to his bed side and I told him, "Father I know it must have been difficult for you to go on like this for a week now.  Last night I recalled what you told me about death so I let you decide now.  If God is indeed calling you, then you decide what you want to do.  You may be trying not to give up and you have been doing that for a week now.  Do not try anymore just because of me, I will understand." 

Then his tears were falling out of his eyes and his heart was going down quickly till it stopped, in front of me and brother Binh.
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By the way, he has a place in the altar of my family.  And today we organized a "dam gio" in my family ancestor worship tradition.

Let us all remember Father Kenneth Jacques in our prayers!  His service in PFAC Palawan will be forever treasured by the Vietnamese refugees and International volunteers whose lives he had touched.

Nguyen Van Nam 

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Father Kenneth passed away in Vietnam on March 7,  2012