FRIENDSHIP, AN IMPECCABLE BOND
In any relationship such as love or friendship, chemistry always plays a great role in order for it to survive. Then there’s compatibility, respect, and humility (being able to acknowledge one’s shortcomings). All of these, combined, make a solid foundation for a great relationship.
My spouse, Do Le, found a best friend in the person of Andrew Taylor, in very unlikely circumstances and place. Over fifteen years ago, Anh Do, as I call him intimately, left Vietnam and sought asylum in the Philippines. There he was housed in a refugee center on the island of Palawan, where thousands of refugees were in the same situation. And Do had nothing- no money, no family, no English, and almost no self-esteem. Everyday was an emotional struggle. He felt isolated, exceedingly lonely, and sometimes depressed. Then Andrew, an American volunteer English teacher, came into his life. Whether Anh Do was a refugee or desolate did not matter to Andrew. He treated Anh Do with great respect, compassion, and love. With that unconditional love that he was bestowed upon by his new-found friend, Anh Do’s perspectives on life changed. Anh Do gradually regained his lost self-esteem. He started to trust himself and other people again. He believed that he could face the world with optimism and courage knowing that someone else cared.
A relationship that commenced as a casual acquaintance became a bond of perpetual friendship. Anh Do and Andrew soon found out that they were both interested in so many different things. They both enjoyed swimming, bowling, island hopping, pop music, and Heineken beer. In addition, they both shared the same moral values and perspectives. More importantly, they both believed in optimism, true love, respect, trust, forgiveness, and family.
During his visit last year, Andrew said that what really brought him and Anh Do together and keeps their friendship intact until now is their longing for the love of the family. As a middle child, Andrew grew up in a family where he felt that all of his other siblings were loved more than him. Anh Do, on the other hand, was isolated from his family at a young age. Two different persons in two different situations: Andrew lived with his family but often felt rejected, and Anh Do felt rejected when his parents gave him away to a relative when he was a young child. In other words, Anh Do and his friend Andrew were looking for that missing brotherly love and eventually found that love in each other.
In the book All About Love, Bell Hooks pointed out, “Those of us who have already chosen to embrace a love ethic, allowing it to govern and inform how we think and act, know that when we let our light shine, we draw to us and are drawn to other bearers of light. We are not alone.” When people give pure love, elevate others and inspire them to be what they can be, they are bearers of light. They enable others to see light and eventually armed them with the ability to pass on that light to other people. Andrew passed on the light to Anh Do, which eventually is able to pass on to other people now.
Anh Do and his brother Andrew (as he calls him), have known each other for fifteen years and their impeccable bond or friendship is getting stronger and stronger as years go by.
Khang Le
San Francisco, California
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